Entitled Morons

Park Slope is full of 1%ers and 2%ers who think they’re middle class, and who will fight (verbally) to the death over who is more socially conscious. I can barely walk past them on the sidewalk without thinking homicidal thoughts* but they are impossible to ignore because they never shut up. The latest outrage: ice cream is for sale in Prospect Park. And precious little Hoboken and Jerseycitia want to eat some and Mommy and Daddy don’t want to say no and be the bad guys. The solution, of course, is to ban ice cream sales so that these passive-agressive shitbags can continue lying to themselves that they are their children’s friends and not their parents.

One possible solution, from the EV Grieve and passed on by Copyranter:

Another that I saw today, but am less enamored of:

*Mr. Bierce nails it again: “There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy…”

19 thoughts on “Entitled Morons

  1. If I’d kept a job in NYC and gotten married and had kids, I’d probably have moved to Park Slope or Prospect Park.

    But I would’ve just drunk beer and named the kids “Avenue A” and “Loisaida Ave” rather than trying to ban ice cream.

  2. last week whilst hubbkf and i were in sioux falls we had lunch in a burger joint and there was a couple there with their two children and another couple…dad just brought their little boy back from the biffy which earned the child a high five and much praise from mom for going to the bathroom…then she asked him quite loudly if he went ‘poopie or pee-pee’…he did go number two which she declared was AWESOME! and she was SO PROUD OF HIM! and gave him numerous hive fives…the other couple was goo-gooing quite madly over the other child, an infant, and the dude kept rubbing the back of her neck and declared she was going to be a very smart child due to the softness of the back of her neck skin…

  3. Well of course they’re your betters. They drive hybrids and dremel rather than clip their dogs nails. I thought it was a given that I’m supposed to defer to such acai-washed fonts of wisdom.

    Ha ha.

  4. Proposed Headline: Stroller Mafia Whacks Ice Cream Vendor

    I do love Brooklyn, but there’s a real “trust fund” element which is making it less of a livable place. Funny, The Bronx doesn’t have that problem.

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