Park Slope is full of 1%ers and 2%ers who think they’re middle class, and who will fight (verbally) to the death over who is more socially conscious. I can barely walk past them on the sidewalk without thinking homicidal thoughts* but they are impossible to ignore because they never shut up. The latest outrage: ice cream is for sale in Prospect Park. And precious little Hoboken and Jerseycitia want to eat some and Mommy and Daddy don’t want to say no and be the bad guys. The solution, of course, is to ban ice cream sales so that these passive-agressive shitbags can continue lying to themselves that they are their children’s friends and not their parents.
One possible solution, from the EV Grieve and passed on by Copyranter:
Another that I saw today, but am less enamored of:
*Mr. Bierce nails it again: “There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy…”
If I’d kept a job in NYC and gotten married and had kids, I’d probably have moved to Park Slope or Prospect Park.
But I would’ve just drunk beer and named the kids “Avenue A” and “Loisaida Ave” rather than trying to ban ice cream.
~
“There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy…”
he forgot Standing Your Ground.
That would be felonious.
Not according to the cops in FLA….
Scholars and gentlemen, every one.
That quote is hilarious. So, what gives these people the idea they’re middle class? Is it cuz NYC is expensive?
They believe they’re middle class because they don’t wear monocles, spats, or top hats. After all, the wealthy all look like the guy in Monopoly, right?
They believe they’re middle class because they don’t wear monocles, spats, or top hats.
HOW ELSE ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW, ASSHOLE?!
They could drop trou and whip out a ruler, like everyone else.
OK, but most clitorises are pretty puny, I think/hope.
You need to spend more time googling.
Start with Rule 34 Hemmingway: The Clit Also Rises.
I just made your search terms much more exciting. You’re welcome.
More exciting than “New York taxi”? Unpossible!
last week whilst hubbkf and i were in sioux falls we had lunch in a burger joint and there was a couple there with their two children and another couple…dad just brought their little boy back from the biffy which earned the child a high five and much praise from mom for going to the bathroom…then she asked him quite loudly if he went ‘poopie or pee-pee’…he did go number two which she declared was AWESOME! and she was SO PROUD OF HIM! and gave him numerous hive fives…the other couple was goo-gooing quite madly over the other child, an infant, and the dude kept rubbing the back of her neck and declared she was going to be a very smart child due to the softness of the back of her neck skin…
He was just rubbing in her brother’s crap which, as I’m sure you know, is nature’s own skin conditioner.
Well of course they’re your betters. They drive hybrids and dremel rather than clip their dogs nails. I thought it was a given that I’m supposed to defer to such acai-washed fonts of wisdom.
Ha ha.
Mrs__B has a hybrid, but it’s garaged in Newark for her commute. So she doesn’t get to be cool in Brooklyn.
Proposed Headline: Stroller Mafia Whacks Ice Cream Vendor
I do love Brooklyn, but there’s a real “trust fund” element which is making it less of a livable place. Funny, The Bronx doesn’t have that problem.
I’m not sure they’re trustifarians as much as new media hipsters or, far, far worse, lawyers and brokers pretending they’re new media hipsters.